My wild.

“I am your parent, you are my child. I am your quiet place, you are my wild.” – Maryann K Cusimano

As a child myself, I never truly liked parks. I was an odd child, to say the least. I loved being home and playing “office.” I wanted to go to the park when no other children were around so my dad and I could practice soccer. Now, twenty-something years later you have me googling “best parks around me” to take my one-year old to.

This past week, I found this cute little park only about ten minutes away from our house. The pictures on Yelp! showed a beautiful waterfall and little lagoons filled with clear water. I HAVE to take Nick, I thought. In person, the waterfall was only about one third the size of what I thought it would be. The little lagoons were well, little. But, we still managed to have some fun.

We were at the park during the mid-day on a Sunday, but surprisingly there was not a big crowd. Nick got to enjoy himself in the swing, and slides. He even made a few friends, which I love since we don’t really have small children nearby that he can socialize with.

Becoming a mother has definitely taught me a lot. One of the lessons I have learned is that each day with a child means a new feeling of fulfillment and gratefulness. Prior to becoming a mother, I would spend Sundays sitting on my couch trying to keep up with the Kardashians, browsing social media, or stuffing my face at various restaurants. Was I happy at the end of the day? Of course. But, the happiness that I feel tonight as I write this is different. You see, the excitement in Nick’s face when he woke up and we were at the park gives me a new high, it gives me a reason to keep on keeping on. It tells me, “keep it up  mama, you’re doing something right.”

Did you know there’s even studies that show that “the more child-centric you are, the more happiness you’ll experience?” They say that it may be because you, now as a parent, get to relive your childhood by partaking in your children’s adventures. Of course, as with anything, you have to find a balance. What does this mean? For me, it means … its okay to leave Nick on a Saturday night with grandma while my husband and I go out to enjoy a movie night or a nice dinner. Its okay to splurge on a nice new purse as long as Nick has everything he needs. And it also means its okay to sometimes wish he would just let me use the restroom for five minutes in peace. But for all of these times that I will put myself before my child, I know that I will be out at the park running behind Nick even if I would rather be in the comfort of my home with the a/c on, that I will be up at 3 am when Nick can’t sleep, and that I will put all else aside when all Nick wants is to cuddle with mama.

Note to self: Make this childhood more normal than yours, so… let’s not make Nick play “office” – he will have a lifetime to do that when he’s an adult lol.

XOXO. – L