My first month or so as a new mother was marked by a horrible breast-feeding experience. Check out my full story here. Although I was delighted to finally have my baby in my arms, I could not help but feel as if I was living a nightmare. The truth of the matter was that I did not know what to expect in regards to breastfeeding and at that point I thought that everything that was going wrong was my fault. Now that I am no longer burdened by the pressure of being a first-time mother and take a closer look, I see that the situation would have been much better if I had taken certain things into consideration.
- Just because it is natural, it does not mean that it will come easy.
For some wonderful mothers nursing comes easy. Their milk comes in even before their child is born or right on time and they begin to nurse like pros. For others, unfortunately, it will not be as easy. And you know what? Its okay. You may find yourself with a baby who will have difficulty latching on, your milk takes a little longer to come in, you have inverted nipples, or quite simply you just have a stubborn baby that does not want to nurse. However, it is important for you to remember two things: stay calm and just like with parenthood, this will also take practice. Think about it like walking. As babies we did not just one day decide we were going to get up and start walking (although my mom swears I did), it took practice. Now walking seems something so natural and we do it without thinking. But it was not always that easy. If you keep at it, it will become easier over time, I can promise you that. - Your body, your choice.
There is extensive research out there showing that mother’s milk is the best nutrient an infant can get from ages 0 to 6 months. However, it is good to remember that formula is a healthy alternative to breast milk. Children who are formula fed versus breastfed come out just fine. For some of mothers, the choice to formula feed versus breast feed will have greater reasoning behind it such as their specific medical situation while for others it will not fit into their type of lifestyle. Whatever it may be, remember that it is your choice. When I visited my doctor’s for my first check up during my pregnancy, the first question that I was asked was whether I was going to breastfeed. At that point I had not thought much about it, but since my hospital is a “Baby-Friendly” hospital, which basically means that they advocate breastfeeding, I thought that the only correct answer was “yes.” From them on, I continued to feel the pressure of breastfeeding. In retrospect, this pressure is exactly what almost made me quit breastfeeding. It wasn’t until I realized that it was my choice and I could actually stop if I wanted to, that I was able to put more effort into it. At that point it was for me, and my son. Unfortunately, for the past few months it had been for the doctors and nurses helping me. Don’t do it for anyone else but you child. - Supplement, if you have to.
During the first two days that my son was at home with us, he lost a lot of weight. This was due to the fact that my milk had not came in yet and the colostrum was not enough for him. When I was discharged from the hospital, I was told that as long as he was latching on, we were okay. I was never told about supplementing with formula. My error here was that I did not do enough research prior to giving birth to my child. I did not know that I probably should have had some formula ready for him while I waited for my milk to fully come in. I felt horrible after realizing that my little one had been starving himself. This was not a great way to start out motherhood. - Do your research.
To this day I blame myself for number three. I blindly trusted in the nurses and doctor when I was discharged. After all, this was my first child and they have been doing this for years. This is where I went wrong. During my pregnancy I researched into a lot of things, including baby exercises, baby food, etc. But I never looked into breastfeeding. Why? Well, let’s go back to number 1. I thought that it was something so natural that I would be a pro at it from the get-go. Don’t be like me. Research, research, research. Those first few days of motherhood I found myself overwhelmed. I wanted to be able to blindly rely on the nurses and doctor at least for one thing. While it is okay for you to do so, remember to follow your gut. If something does not sit well with you, go ahead and ask for clarification. Research it on your own and ask questions. - Look for support.
I was one of the first from my group of friends to have a child, I do not have any sisters (or brothers), female cousins, and the last time my mother breastfed was with me. I was on my own. Truth be told, I felt ashamed that I could not do something I felt was so natural. When I went on-line and tried to ask questions I felt as if everyone was judging me. I got several comments about how insensitive I was being to my child by thinking of quitting breastfeeding. Let’s stop right there, this is not what you need. Check out your local hospitals for support groups. If you have friends who have children, ask them. I am sure they will be more than happy to shine some knowledge your way. A close friend of mine recently had her first baby and it makes me feel good when she asks me about breastfeeding. Not only because I know that she trusts me (so I must be doing something right with my child) but because my experience can [hopefully] help her have a better one. I listen to her and let her know what my experience was. I do not judge her, I just listen to her. This last one is probably for both first time mothers and those surrounding first time mothers. Support one another, do not bring others down. Remember, what worked for you may not work for your friend, and that is okay.
XOXO – L.
What a great post. I had the same struggles when I had my Son last year. I completely agree that support is so crucial. At first, I thought that I could handle it all on my own, that it would be natural and come easy but it so didn’t! we faced a lot of problems, lack of production, latching difficulty, and overall frustration for weeks before we got it right. I breast fed for only 4 months and although I could have gone longer, I stopped when it was right for me. Thanks so much for sharing!
Innana, I relate to you. My milk didn’t come in until about a week after my son was born, we had to use he nipple shield for almost 2 months, and I was just so over it by that time. I breastfed until about 8-9 months when it became difficult for me to pump at work. He still breastfeeds now a bit but not as much as I see other little ones do. Our time is done for now I think and I’m ok with that.
I agree with these. Breastfeeding does not come easy to all. For me it was the hardest with my first. The other 2 I knew what I was up against so I was prepared. Great tips Luz!
Thank you Dominique. I think a lot of trouble also comes with the first one because you’re already sort of freaking out about everything, you don’t need any more stress like the one that comes when you realize that although natural, its not easy. I hope I’m better prepared for the next one.
Look for support. Wise words. And never judge.
I think the “never judge” is a big one.
Love these tips! Every person’s journey is so different, and there is no right way or wrong way to feed your baby. As long as they are fed! 🙂
I totally agree with you Amanda!! As long as the little ones are fed, I’m good.
Breastfeeding is different for everyone. With my first baby I only breastfed for a few months because I lost milk. With the last two it was like total switch!
Yes!! I’ve heard so many different stories but it just sucks when nurses want to push the same plan onto everyone.
Great tips!!! I’m all for breastfeeding but I know that unfortunately the “breast is best” campaign has been hurtful for mothers who can’t or choose not to breastfeed. Thanks for sharing!
Emily, breastfeeding is amazing. But I do agree with you. I think the problem is that people take things to the extremes. I just hope more mothers seek support.
Great tips! I breastfeed three kids and it was challenging every time. It’s not “natural” as they say it is. I enjoy breastfeeding but that doesnt mean all mothers can. We should all be supportive of each others choices.
Angela, tell me it got “easier” with the second and the third? haha. I think support is definitely key. No judgment. Thanks for reading.
Having good support makes all the difference. My hubby has been a huge support.
Yes yes yes! Shannon, I cannot stress this enough. Kudos to your hubby!! Thanks for reading.
It’s so important not to feel alone!! My Mother In Law was a HUGE help for me!
Amie, that is amazing to hear. Unfortunately for one of my close friends her mother in law made her first week out of the hospital hell, you are lucky!
These are great ideas! If I nursed four kiddos, anybody can… but I wish I would have switched to formula for my second, he screamed and cried so. This is a great post. I wish I would have had positive support like this back in the day. Great post!!
Such great tips. I’m happy that I pushed through the hard times and breastfed all four of my little ones. We supplimented at times, we went through hard times, and I’m SO glad I did!
Really great tips! Breastfeeding can be hard, but so rewarding! And support is key
Pinned for baby #2! Wish I would have found better support with baby #1.
Yes! Yes! Yes!! Loved this post and could not agree more! Especially about support!
Thank you sweetheart!
Great advice! Breastfeeding is so tough if you go it alone!
Definitely Catia. I hope others can find some support in my words.
Great tips! We had to supplement for my twins until my milk came in. They were NICU babies for about a month though, so the staff (luckily) guided us a bit!
Supplementing is amazing because at the end of the day #FedIsBest whether its formula or breast milk. I’m glad your little ones are better!
Love this post. So many great Tips and advice. Breastfeeding is defintely not easy. It’s hard work but I do believe it gets better. I always tell everyone don’t give up, but ultimately when you decide to stop it’s all up to you.
I think finding and having support to continue to cheer you on and not let you give up is the biggest key to this breastfeeding journey- especially when you are a new mom.
Erika, you are definitely right. I didn’t have much support because I’m one of the first in my group of friends to have a baby so it was definitely difficult. It also didn’t help to go on line sometimes because of the whole breast is best lol. But I’m glad I worked through it.
These are great tips. I breastfed for over a year and I wish I would have known about most of these before I started.
Thank you Krysten. I wish I would have read more empowering posts rather than shameful ones when I was struggling with my own breastfeeding journey.
Breastfeeding definitely was a challenge for me at first but it got much better with practice.
I”m glad to hear that. With everything it takes practice, but its such an amazing thing.